oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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