Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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