69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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