My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
