Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize