Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
