so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
