The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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