If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
