I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
