So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
