Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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