the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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