3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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