whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
