She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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