It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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