She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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