I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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