Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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