We're facebook friends in real life
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
