It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
