Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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