This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
