my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I believe in your delicious
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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