So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
