im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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