Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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