I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
