I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
