i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Bring me that man meat
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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