I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
