i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
