You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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