i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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