It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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