It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
