roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
