haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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