It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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