I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
