Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
