Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
