True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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