No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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