I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
