Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
