some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
