Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
