I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
