i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
