I wannas sexs uuuuu
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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