Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize