If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
