So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize