so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
