they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
