Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
