once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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