Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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