Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Houston, we have a blender
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
